The shameful truth behind the Mahon Tribunal - report a whitewash and a waste of time and money

Bertie Ahern

After a decade and a half of foreplay the one thing the findings of the Mahon tribunal have underlined is that we have all been taken for a ride.

How can any democracy justify squandering millions of euro on the biggest investigation into corruption the state has ever witnessed to tell us all what the dogs the in street have known for years?

Not that it comes as a huge surprise, but the minimum most people were expecting was for former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern to be officially tarred and feathered.

However, simply stating Bertie “failed to truthfully account for” a wedge of cash that passed though bank accounts connected with him is hardly the knockout blow to his reputation many were hoping for.

It would be any spin doctor’s daydream to have such unspecific language used against their client. You would think after all the filthy lucre shoveled into the tribunal over the years it could have at least bought a set of teeth. But rather than dishing out a true mauling the best this toothless tiger could muster was a slap on the wrist that more or less accused the former Taoiseach of not playing ball and being a bit of a scallywag.

Indeed, the only thing the Mahon Tribunal has achieved is to confirm for those that may have forgotten that the Banana Republic is alive and well.

While Enda Kenny was doing us all proud earlier this week in the US as he charmed President Barack Obama and told all who would listen that modern, sleek Ireland is bouncing back and very much open for business, the evidence would appear to undermine him.

Yes, Ireland will recover from the recession and most likely, in economic terms at least, bounce back leaner and meaner than ever before, but the undeniable truth is that our country will remain broken.

How can we justify spending so much effort and cash on what has amounted to be a total waste of time? Why is someone that has “failed to truthfully account” for something not been branded a liar? Why has no one been prosecuted? The sad reason is that in Ireland we prefer sugarcoated double-speak rather than the uncomfortable truth.
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The onus is now on the current Government to ensure such a travesty of time wasting never happens again. If someone is guilty, then drag them through the courts and throw them in jail. We can no longer afford expensive white elephants such as the Mahon tribunal and the Irish public should no longer stomach them.

In a time of austerity it is simply sinful the even contemplate ever again squandering cash on such costly circuses. Just like the only meaningful thing the Seaned produces on a yearly bases is enough hot air to float the egos of overpaid part time politicians who love the sound of their own voice, tribunals have also proved they are well past their sell-by date.

The findings of the Mahon Tribunal should be used as a wake up call for a nation that loves pointing the finger and looking for scapegoats. We need to demand a system where the privileged and wealthy actually have something to fear from fiddling the system.

The sad truth today however is that it is not Bertie Ahern that should be ashamed of himself, but all of us for hoping this charade would change anything.

Paul Allen is Managing Director of Paul Allen and Associates PR, www.prireland.com.

Kiss Me, I’m Irate over St. Patrick’s Day products - Give me a break

Urban Outfitter St. Patrick's Day products

The essential item of clothing this St Patrick’s Day for some Irish people should be a t-shirt emblazoned with ‘Kiss Me, I’m Irate!’

Yes, you’d think we’d have enough political and economic turmoil to be dealing with, without getting our knickers in a twist over some hipster clothing store and the world’s largest sports brand.

Urban Outfitters had the audacity to suggest that the Irish have an unhealthy relationship with drink when it released a range of “drunk Irish” t-shirts

One featured the phrase “Irish yoga” and beneath depicted an image of a person on their hands and knees being sick. Another ran the lines – ‘Kiss me. I’m drunk or Irish, or whatever.’

On both sides of the Atlantic the Irish were up in arms. How dare Urban Outfitters defame the Irish people, they cried. But, in reality, the store’s only crime was telling the truth.

Whether it is in Dublin, New York or Boston, the sight of Irish people staggering around drunk or doing “Irish yoga” on the street or sidewalk is relatively common.

Next in the firing line was Nike. The sports clothing giant’s mistake was simply using color to describe one of its products.

Nike was forced to apologize after naming its new running shoe the Black and Tan in advertisements. The $90 limited edition sneaker sparked fury among certain Irish communities because they linked the name with memories of the notorious British paramilitary unit that terrorized Irish citizens during the War of Independence.

While the official name was the SB Dunk Low, adverts for the trainer read: “Tis the season for Irish beer and why not celebrate with Nike. The Black and Tan sneaker takes inspiration for the fine balancing act of a Stout (Guinness) on top a Pale Ale (Harp) in a pint glass.”

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But when did Irish people become so sensitive and stuck in the past?

Yes, someone at Nike should have at least Googled the term before unofficially christening one of its running shoes Black and Tan, but surely it can be forgiven for not taking into account the troubled history of a small nation.

Irish people have succeeded not by, as Patrick Kavanagh put it, “paddling in the pools of the past”, but by reaching outwards. Irish people have always had the resilience to put the past behind them and move forward.

However, there are those who believe in an Ireland that no longer exists.

When the New York St Patrick’s Day Parade’s website recently published its set of guidelines, one stated: “The only banners allowed are ones identifying the unit or ‘England Get Out of Ireland’.”

Many may point to the apparent hurt caused by Nike or damage done by Urban Outfitters, but I can assure you that such outdated thinking does far more to put a dent in the Irish community’s reputation.

But thankfully, the Irish nation is no longer stuck in such time warp. And neither should Irish Americans.

Irish make rest of world green with envy on St. Patrick’s Day - Despite begrudgery, March 17th a huge boost for Irish everywhere

Begrudgers see "Paddywhackery" - but they really just wish they were Irish

The dour, self-loathing-Irish brigade was out in force this week. Indeed, only the Irish could bemoan the spectacular news that many of the world’s major landmarks will turn green on Saint Patrick’s Day, including Niagara Falls, the London Eye, Berlin’s iconic TV tower in Alexanderplatz, and South Africa’s Table Mountain.

Despite this marketing coup, which will help promote tourism in Ireland and Ireland itself in these times of great need, the merchants of doom were deriding the decision.

Newstalk’s Ivan Yates led the charge as he huffed and puffed on his morning radio show, deriding the stunt as a pure case of “Paddywhackery”. In fact, he believed this fantastic promotional drive was “actually urinating tax payers’ money up against Niagara Falls.”

Regardless of what Mr Yates believes, the fact is simple — on March 17 the rest of the world will be green with envy at Ireland. And rightly so.

What other nation gets the world to celebrate its national day en masse every year? What other nation has millions, if not billions, toasting its health?

It is easy for Irish people to dismiss such a warm appreciation for their homeland, but you can be sure the British wish St George’s Day, and the Scottish St Andrew’s Day, produced such widespread warmth for their piece of old sod.
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Regardless of whether you think St Patrick’s Day is a load of old shamrocks and shillelaghs, as an opportunity to market and promote Ireland it is unrivaled.

Leprechauns, "Riverdance", and Aran jumpers are simply part of our brand — like it or not. And no matter how much they make some people squirm, they are part of the reason Ireland and Irish culture punches well above its weight.

Why is the Irish pub a worldwide phenomenon? Because it is a place to meet friends, have a beer and enjoy warm hospitality. Ireland’s icons are non-threatening, unlike England’s bulldog or Scotland’s thorny thistle.

And while Irish people abroad may feel stereotyped as an extra in "The Quiet Man", I think this says more about their po-faced lack of confidence than anything else.

Ireland has a great track record of using its culture, and the warm affection other countries have for it, to its advantage.

This week saw Vice President of China Xi Jinping arrive in Dublin, a highly significant milestone in the relationship between the two countries. This momentous occasion was the result of many years of work behind the scenes. But long before the Taoiseach was pressing the flesh with this most senior of political figures from China, "Riverdance" was helping foster friendship.

When one of the largest trade missions to ever leave our shores, comprising of 174 Irish business people from 82 Irish companies, journeyed to China in 2003, Tiananmen Square was awash with tricolours. But this display of respect and affection was not for the trade delegation, but to mark Riverdance’s historic performance in the Great Hall of the People.

And just like "Riverdance" produces groans of “paddywhackery” among some self-loathing Irish, so too does Waterford Crystal. However, it was this iconic brand that was used to help transform the White House into an open house on March 17 for Irish dignitaries.

Dot Tubridy (a cousin of Ryan Tubridy) began the tradition of presenting a Waterford Crystal bowl of shamrock to the President of America back when John F Kennedy was in office. To this day the tradition survives.

So while the sight of what the begrudgers call “plastic paddies” draped in their psychedelic green outfits will cause some to frown, the fact that this year more than ever the world will turn green on St Patrick’s Day should be celebrated.

And the begrudgers should remember that on March 17 there are, as the saying goes, only two kinds of people in the world — the Irish and those who wish they were.

Time for the Irish to embrace Britain and not Boston or Berlin - Only the British have stood up for Ireland in these hard times

Enda Kenny and Queen Elizabeth

During the Irish boom years it was always painted as a simple choice. Did we want to be closer to Boston or Berlin? But while our ego fuelled an inflated sense of self-importance as we reveled in the fact that Project Ireland was at last an economic success, we failed to see what was staring us right in the face.

Now that reality has brought us crashing back down to earth it is time to forget Boston and Berlin, and start embracing the only country that can truly help us forge a solid economic future — Britain.

America is without question a true and best friend but ultimately will always look after its own interests, and rightly so. Then there are the boys from Berlin who have recently shown their true colours as they continue squeezing every last ounce of dignity from the Irish Government to ensure German banks stay afloat while the Irish people foot the bill. But while Europe twists the knife it is Britain that has rested a hand of friendship on our shoulders while our other European ‘friends’ desert us.

When the extent of Ireland’s financial crisis hit the headlines and Europe looked at how best to financially penalise the Irish people, the British parliament signed off on the Loans to Ireland Bill with little fuss. Meanwhile, as the IMF and EU handcuffed the Irish nation with astronomical debt, members of the European Parliament sniggered under their breath at the fact that Ireland, as they saw it, got what was coming to it.

Now that our true relationship with our European overlords is transparent, it is time that we saw sense and strengthened our ties with the UK.

The Queen’s visit last year was a huge turning point with regards to our modern day relationship with Britain. It allowed reconciliation with the past on both sides of the Irish Sea. However, most of all, it finally highlighted how our two sovereign states have more to benefit from by embracing each other rather than grasping onto the “us and them” mentality that for so long blighted our thinking when it came to Old Blighty or as some affectionately call it — the Mainland.

Prince William last week said that the visit “opened new doors” for the Queen and hailed it as a “huge turning point”.

Speaking as part of a BBC documentary he claimed the Queen’s enforced absence from Ireland due to the political tensions left her “like a child not allowed to go into a certain room.” It should be noted that it is Britain that is freely helping us pay the mortgage on that “room”.

Rumours are warming up again that another royal visit should be expected shortly, and this will further help cement the relationship between our two countries.

So, with our relationship with the UK stronger than ever, at last there can be open discussion about the possibility of joining the Commonwealth or ditching the Euro for Sterling, without cries of treason.

Indeed, the question is — why can proud, successful and powerful nations, such as Australia and Canada, have no problem when it comes to benefiting from the Commonwealth and the resulting deep economic ties with the UK while Ireland has for years balked at the very idea?

While we aspired to developing a Continental Café Culture during the Celtic tiger, the truth is we have always had more in common with our British neighbours. We speak their language, support their football teams, read their media, watch their television channels and hold many of their values.

Our relationship with the British has indeed suffered from bad PR over many decades. But the sign of a mature, confident Ireland would be to re-embrace Britain and pave the way for our two nations to truly thrive by closer economic and political ties.

The harsh economic reality has shown which nations we can rely on in times of crisis.

So as the Queen prepares to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee this year, it is time that we forged stronger ties with the UK.

Whether this is by joining the Commonwealth, adopting Sterling or some other form of economic co-operation, is for the people to decide. However, one thing is for sure — the ‘800 years of oppression’ chip on our shoulder needs to be brushed aside. In fact, it is time that we treasured and loved the British as much as they do us.


Paul Allen runs a major public relations agency in Dublin

The truth can be a bitter pill to swallow - Enda Kenny criticized for telling the truth

Enda Kenny

The Irish thrive on blaming others for their woes. We blame the British, the Catholic Church and just about anyone else that saves us from embracing collective responsibility for our own missteps. But it is high time for people to grow up. We claim we want the truth, but it would appear that we can’t handle the truth.

Enda Kenny is now facing a backlash for telling people something they desperately don’t want to hear yet alone believe — we are all to blame for the economic crisis.

The Taoiseach told a gathering at the World Economic Forum in Davos that the problem with Ireland’s economy was that “people went mad borrowing” in a climate where greed saw the system spiral out of control and ultimately crash.
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This is of course an oversimplification of our economic downfall, yet it is in essence relatively accurate. The poor judgement of our political leaders and the corrupt nature of certain financiers and developers was all driven by a collective giddy greed that gripped our nation at the height of the boom. The vast majority of us were crying, “more, more, more” when in fact we should have been increasing taxes and cutting our spending levels.

Speak with any rational Irish person about this and they will agree that while the levels of blame rise significantly depending on your role in the crash, we all ultimately have to take a certain amount criticism.

But to utter such words in public is tantamount to treason. This warped view of reality is being fed into and fuelled by a media that constantly uses politicians, developers and bankers as scapegoats.

Minister for Transport and Tourism Leo Varadkar condemned this cynicism and highlighted how the media offers a “sugar-coated” truth rather than exposing the real facts. He is right.

The media has become so cynical of politicians and their roles, that it is affecting the balance portrayed in the pages of our newspapers and the broadcasts of our national news.

It is so easy to blame whoever is public enemy number one at any given moment, whether it’s Sean Fitzpatrick, Michael Fingleton or Sean Dunne. However, these people did not operate in a vacuum and were part of a culture that was allowed flourish during the boom years.

Admittedly Enda Kenny did make a major error of judgement, but it was not telling the truth in Switzerland. It was telling Irish people what they wanted to hear seven weeks ago when he said — “You are not responsible for the crisis.”

We all criticise politicians for feeding us lies before an election and then once in office breaking these promises. But maybe this says more about us than it does about them. .

So now as the media turns on Enda and Leo for telling the truth, at least Irish people will now have two others to blame for their woes. *

The media’s love affair with the fall guy - Italian captain of capsized cruise ship fits the bill

Francesco Schettino

The media’s obsession with simplicity and scapegoats often means the real story can go unreported, writes Paul Allen.

Every drama needs a villain and this week Francesco Schettino neatly fitted the bill. The captain of the Costa Concordia, which crashed into rocks off the Italian coast and capsized, was portrayed as a lazy stereotype in a veracious media environment that loves simplicity.

The Italian was quickly caricatured as a swashbuckling, wine-swilling lothario with such an eye for the ladies he was willing to put the lives of all his passengers at risk.

The Daily Mail, which led the charge, was only too willing to believe that most of its readers would readily understand the cliché that all Italian me are lazy, workshy womanisers.

When the captain, desperately tried to defend himself, claiming he had not abandoned ship but had accidentally fallen into a lifeboat while aiding passengers as the ship tilted on its side, the guffaws in the press were audible.

There is little doubt that if he had happened to be Spanish, images of Manuel, the Fawlty Towers waiter, would have been splashed all over the tabloid press.

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To add to the comic book portrayal of this horrible disaster a 25-year-old mystery blonde ballerina, Domnica Cemortan, who reportedly was on the bridge of the cruise liner when the vessel ran into rocks, leapt to the Captain’s defence.

“[Capt. Schettino] is one of the best captains in the company. He is very skilful and experienced when it comes to manoeuvring the ship in enclosed spaces, like harbours,” Cemortan told the Daily Telegraph.

Of course the more sober and straightforward reporting as put forward by the Telegraph was spun by the Daily Mail as it pondered: “Was Captain Coward trying to impress glamorous blonde ballerina when he hit the rocks?”

At the heart of this sordid tale are the 11 people who have been confirmed dead and the 30 who are still missing after the disaster. While the official investigation into the incident will no doubt reveal the full extent to which the captain was at fault, his position makes it clear that he rightly has to take responsibility for at least some of the blame. However, the ease at which the media immediately made him the scapegoat meant that many of the critical issues that have arisen out of this incident have for the most part been glided over.

What about the company behind the cruise liner? What about the safety standards on big passenger ships? Indeed, if we are to believe what has been written this week about Captain Schettino it would seem that ship captains that roam the high seas are a law unto themselves. This I would wager is far from the truth.

So even if the Captain is as portrayed, what type of company and what type of regulatory system allows such a person to be in charge of the safety of thousands of passengers? Sadly, as far as the media is concerned, such a story line does not make for sexy headlines.

The media loves portraying black and white scenarios, but does not do grey very well. Indeed, even though new media has seen the number of news sources flourish over the past few years, it has not given the public a more diverse and thorough insight into the stories of the day.

Indeed, it would seem that in our media saturated lives the snappy headline, sound bite and catch-all cliché still rule supreme.

Thankfully, for the families of those who lost their lives, the inquiry rather than the media will bring to light who the real villains in this tragedy are.

The fame game is a double-edged sword - reality television, Twitter and Facebook bite back

Georgia Salpa - Irish model in "Celebrity Big Brother"

Channel Five’s Celebrity Big Brother has once again underlined the extent to which the term ‘celebrity’ has become meaningless. Full of the usual mix of fame hungry has-beens and wannabes, the show is simply a circus showing the inflated and often fragile egos of the contestants as they contrive to win the affections of the viewership.

The depths some people will go to gain notoriety or ‘fame’ is incredible, just ask Natasha Giggs. You would think after being caught having an affair with her husband’s brother, Ryan Giggs, she would want to lay low for a while. But now she is on Big Brother one would hope chasing fame rather than ignominy.

Dublin’s beautiful Georgia Salpa is also hoping her appearance on the show will help her take the UK by storm. However, she is now finding out the hard edge of reality TV after becoming one of the first people (along with some other z-lister) to face eviction.

But while Georgia is one of the lucky ones as she has little to lose and lots to gain career wise by her exposure on national television, most people have little idea of what a double-edged sword the pursuit of fame can be.
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Sinead O’Connor’s talent is unquestionable, but the same cannot be said of some of her life choices. And while we all make mistakes and errors of judgement, few would want to broadcast them. However, thanks to Twitter Sinead’s life has become something of a media circus.

But while on one hand she tweets freely about intimate elements of her personal life, which are willing snapped up by the media, she gets highly irritated when journalists begin to focus too much attention her. This led to the headline in this week’s Sunday Independent — “Don’t f**k with me or my husband.”

The problem is when it comes to courting media coverage it is not simply a tap that can be turned off and turned on when it suits.

But just like Celebrity Big Brother, mindlessly embracing Twitter or indeed Facebook is more likely going to turn you into a sucker rather than a star.

Labour leader Ed Milliband was the latest to put his foot in it when he tweeted a message regarding the death of Blockbusters’ former host Bob Holness with the line, “A Generation will remember him fondly from Blackbusters.”

But while there are plenty of public figures and celebrities seemingly only too happy to enter the Dumb Tweet of the Year Awards, it is the public’s lack of awareness of the power of Twitter that is shocking.

One idiot has thankfully been arresting this week for racially abusing former Liverpool footballer Stan Collymore via Twitter. While in the US a 16-year-old employee of the pizza chain Papa John’s was sacked after referring to a customer as “lady chinky eyes” on a receipt and then posting it on the social network site.

While we may mock the crass wannabes that are willing to suffer the humiliation and mental torture in a desperate bid to save or start their careers in the Big Brother House, many are willing to ruin their lives or suffer the double-edged sword of media intrusion all for the sake of a dumb Tweet or foolish Facebook post.

However, even for established stars reality television is now so mainstream that its pitfalls almost seem unavoidable.

Singer Brian Kennedy just last week got caught in the line of fire of reality television. He allowed the Daily Mirror’s entertainment reporter Paul Martin get under his skin and ended up throwing a glass of red wine over him during the celebrity version of Come Dine With Me on TV3. But why should such a talented performer be dragged down to the same level as a British tabloid hack? The show’s producers obviously knew what they were doing when inviting Martin and Brian sadly took the bait.

The fact is that while reality television, Twitter or Facebook can give you instant notoriety, it is important to beware — they often bite back.

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